Thursday, January 10, 2008

Signing off?

It’s been a crazy two and a half weeks since I arrived in Omaha from leaving Costa Rica. I didn’t want to put too much on here about my thoughts over possibly staying home because the decision wasn’t final. However, I had been thinking about staying here in the U.S., as some people know.

There are many reasons for it, but in the end I have decided not to go back to Costa Rica. Many of you know my struggles but I felt that I was too alone down there and didn’t have enough support in Costa Rica. I think many people would have been alright, and are more than alright down there, but the people who know me well know that I really need a lot of support and interaction with friends and family. Relationships are very important to me. Of course I thought this through for over a year before actually leaving for the Peace Corps, but you can never know for sure how something is going to be. I know Peace Corps would be very hard, and very rewarding, but I never knew how that would manifest itself.

I really do think Peace Corps is a great organization and I’m so glad I had that six months there. I wouldn’t change that. I learned so much and it was a great experience. But I couldn’t see myself continuing under those conditions so I had to make the tough choice to stay here in the states. I have so much respect for all the volunteers in Costa Rica, because I’ve met almost all of them and some are good friends, but for volunteers around the world.

Thank you so much to everyone for your support. I was overwhelmed and had so much joy in receiving so many letters and emails. I never thought I would receive so much love and encouragement! People taught me so much about sacrifice and giving and selflessness. Thank you for that. Thank you for taking the time to think of me, pray, write, send packages...

Maybe I will write more if people want. One thing I have discovered, or been discovering, is I don’t understand anything about my life. As a good friend said to me, "life is never, ever, ever what we think it's going to be or should be or has been. I've given up trying to understand it as of a couple days ago, and everything is a lot easier!"

Signing off, for now.

P.S. I really can’t thank people enough for all the support, and I hope just because I’m now not living in an exotic location we will still be friends.