True to Yourself

“The thing inside of me was so strong I had to act on it. Can you relate to this feeling? That sense that there is something deep in the fiber of your being that you have to do, and if you don´t do it, you will be violating something…or somebody?

Better to try and fail, because at least you are being true to yourself.”

Well this is one of my inspirational quotes for this week. I´m reading through another book by Rob Bell, this one is called “Velvet Elvis.” Before this quote Bell is actually talking about his vision for a church…a church where people actually want to be there, where they are alive and full of passion and happy, and this is was his vision when he started a church—to pursue what living like Jesus taught was possible would look like. However, I like to apply the quote to my experience here in Costa Rica. Being here is just something I had to do that in some ways I can´t explain (others I think I can). This keeps me going—that I know I´m here for a reason. And I have to try this, going out with a bang and taking a risk so I can be true to myself and live with few regrets. I guess I wanted to write this to remind myself but also to give people a glimpse of why I´m here…because I do miss everyone so much!

I think I´m getting addicted to coffee, because my host mom here has a huge cup waiting for me every morning when I wake up. If I´m home later in the afternoon, Costa Ricans (ticos for short) usually have a coffee and snack then also. But this coffee addiction has replaced my previous pop addiction, mostly. So that makes me feel better.

Now for a few things I have been up to. I think I wrote in another post that we change language facilitators (fancy word for teacher) every four weeks or so, for various reasons. Well we (me and the three other gringos in my town) were supposed to have one Spanish class last week and one yesterday, but neither time did our new teacher show up. Today we found out he quit. So I missed two Spanish classes, but I think I´ll be okay. I really enjoy talking with the people around town more. You learn so much by being forced to listen and speak in the language you are trying to learn! But that was interesting, and nice to have the day off yesterday. I spent it playing with Josue, the 7 year old grandkid. We played soccer and also a game where I chase him and pretend he´s a monkey and I get to throw him around. I didn´t see him at all this weekend and realized how much I missed him.

Also I´ve been doing my coaching activity where I sort of shadow a local small business owner and learn from him while also trying to see where I can put my business stuff to the test and see where he may be to improve. We are becoming friends as he took me into San Jose with his son last week! He has a really well run little shop where he sells odds and ends like pop, food, ice cream, milk, coffee, and other stuff. His dad has his own store in town so they have some entrepreneur blood in the family.

This past weekend I went into San Jose along with the other 35 trainees for a project fair. There were six current volunteers that we went around to and talked to about their projects. What I think is really cool about the Peace Corps is that what we work on is mainly up to us. For example, one of the volunteers has worked on starting an internet café in his town. Two others worked a lot with women´s groups, like on making their own jewelry to provide income or starting an ice cream shop. Sounds like fun! And yummy. Another volunteer and his wife teach a ton of English classes. Lastly, one volunteer works mostly with kids. It was really encouraging to see that I can focus where my passions are. Of course these volunteers do other things, but they were presenting our possibilities as future volunteers. That´s good to know if I really want I can work a ton with kids, or if I want I can teach a ton of English (not likely) or work mostly with micro entrepreneurs or even various community groups.

This week isn´t too busy. I checked our schedule, and now that we are at the halfway point (a little more) for training, the rest of training gets intense. Not this weekend but next weekend we all go to visit a current volunteer. Unlike last time, we all go to visit a volunteer one on one, just me and the other person. We spend five days with them! The after that, two weeks from this Friday, we find out our own sites. Right after that we go for a five day visit to our future site and meet our future family. We return to our communities and September 14 we swear in as official PC volunteers. I hope to keep updating in the next few weeks, but I will be out of town a couple times and be busier, so I will do my best. Thanks everyone for all the letters and emails and messages! Don´t be afraid to keep them up even if I haven´t updated for a while!

“Better to try and fail, because at least you are being true to yourself.”

“And the worse thing would be to live wondering, what if?”

“…Because without pain, we don´t change, do we?” –Rob Bell

Right now things are a bit tough, which I haven´t really shared, but at the back of my mind I´m not wondering “what if I did the Peace Corps?” because I´m here. Thanks so much for everyone for encouraging me to step out in faith and take a risk with this journey. It´s not easy now, although there is much to love, but I´m here.

Alright we´ll see if this works. I heard about this website from other trainees called webshots.com where you can upload pictures for free and other people can view them! Try clicking on the link below. I uploaded all 116 pictures I´ve taken so far, so hopefully this works. Also, if they work, apparently there are 8 videos. Check below and let me know if it works!

http://community.webshots.com/album/560204070aVlHqC