Crazy Life in Costa Rica

Hey!

Well I´m here at the usual place, an Internet café in the nearest town with Internet. I was thinking about being home for Christmas, and how it will be weird to be back in a house where we can use fast internet anytime we want. Crazy!

At the high school, we have been planning the new school year, which starts in early February. It looks like I will be teaching a few classes—a business class and a couple English classes. The business class is the one I have been sitting in on to get a better feel for it and how the schools work, and to get to know the people.

I feel like it will be very weird to be teaching at all. I already have been teaching English, a few times, more informally, with lesson plans made up from my head. And before joining Peace Corps, I knew that I may have to teach some English. So I´m still trying to avoid that or settle the people down that I´m not going to be teaching ton of English, hopefully. I have never felt a calling to teaching, and I don´t really like English.

I am, however, excited for the business administration class/starting your own business. This class is based not just on technical aspects, but on motivation that it is possible and what kinds of attitudes and behaviors to have. This is more what I thought I´d be doing when I joined Peace Corps, although not in a formal setting. I thought it´d be more with groups and cooperatives. I am working on one project with a women´s group, so the high school class will just be a little more formal.

Here it is very hard to determine how much time to put into these projects. I really have to learn how to balance many different things at once and manage my days. “Free days” sound really nice, but it´s so difficult because a lot of people see a volunteer and all they see is free labor. I am having trouble figuring out who is sincere and honest and who isn´t.

One thing that really gets me down in life is that it seems there are so few people who are authentic, honest, and passionate. So many people talk and promise. We are bombarded from all over with advertisements showing the best food, tv, computer, and beer that helps you get really hot women. We are pushed on all sides by people selling their religion, their view on life, their product.

And yet what it seems there is so few of is people who are living out what they believe, what they sell. We are all doing our best, that I have no doubt. But the narrow road really is hard to find, it seems. I know truth is out there, but so many people have hidden agendas it´s hard what to believe.

Having a good conversation in Spanish is hard…it takes somebody with patience and knows how to speak clearly. I find myself even avoiding certain people because they just get so frustrated with me. Then there are other people who I understand very well and they understand me! I try to spend more time with these people.

Even though Peace Corps started engraining it in my head from before I left, I still struggle with feelings that I´m not making a difference. Especially early on, they say, it´s hard to see progress. But apparently helping people is harder than I thought. We were taught not to do things for them, that we support and encourage and help along with them, and yet this process is slow.

In addition, many people don´t agree with this process. They don´t want a process. They want results. They see a volunteer who may not have an appointment on Monday, so why aren´t you teaching or getting something “done”? Why are you doing an analysis of the community? What a waste of time, they say.

Well I hope I´m not wasting my time here. Maybe I´m in that transition phase because it´s still early on. I´ve been in the community over two months now, so it´s just hard when on the surface, it seems I haven´t done that much.

Soon I will be finishing up my analysis and heading home for Christmas! I am so looking forward to seeing everybody!

Please pray.
-Nick