It’s been a crazy two and a half weeks since I arrived in Omaha from leaving Costa Rica. I didn’t want to put too much on here about my thoughts over possibly staying home because the decision wasn’t final. However, I had been thinking about staying here in the U.S., as some people know.
There are many reasons for it, but in the end I have decided not to go back to Costa Rica. Many of you know my struggles but I felt that I was too alone down there and didn’t have enough support in Costa Rica. I think many people would have been alright, and are more than alright down there, but the people who know me well know that I really need a lot of support and interaction with friends and family. Relationships are very important to me. Of course I thought this through for over a year before actually leaving for the Peace Corps, but you can never know for sure how something is going to be. I know Peace Corps would be very hard, and very rewarding, but I never knew how that would manifest itself.
I really do think Peace Corps is a great organization and I’m so glad I had that six months there. I wouldn’t change that. I learned so much and it was a great experience. But I couldn’t see myself continuing under those conditions so I had to make the tough choice to stay here in the states. I have so much respect for all the volunteers in Costa Rica, because I’ve met almost all of them and some are good friends, but for volunteers around the world.
Thank you so much to everyone for your support. I was overwhelmed and had so much joy in receiving so many letters and emails. I never thought I would receive so much love and encouragement! People taught me so much about sacrifice and giving and selflessness. Thank you for that. Thank you for taking the time to think of me, pray, write, send packages...
Maybe I will write more if people want. One thing I have discovered, or been discovering, is I don’t understand anything about my life. As a good friend said to me, "life is never, ever, ever what we think it's going to be or should be or has been. I've given up trying to understand it as of a couple days ago, and everything is a lot easier!"
Signing off, for now.
P.S. I really can’t thank people enough for all the support, and I hope just because I’m now not living in an exotic location we will still be friends.
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4 comments:
Hey...
I'm really sorry to hear that you've decided not to come back, but I'm sure you've considered it carefully and are doing what you have to do for you. I'm glad that you feel that your 6 months here were valuable, and that you've gained from the experience.
I'm sure you'll find success whereever you end up back home. Best of luck.
Christine
Wow, big news! I knew you were trying to make a big decision. I am sure it is a relief to finally know. I am sure there will be some challenges processing everything and people asking a lot of questions.
That means you'll have to come visit Challenge! We have a retreat in Omaha next FRiday/Saturday.
I am glad you have had fun and have had time with friends and family. I know the next step with the job and where to live will unfold. I have come to realize that we just need to follow the road that is before us. We often think that leads to the intended destination when often times it is what was needed to get you going in that direction for a time before the road curved. You were faithful to go and now the story continues in a different direction.
I am sure there has been a lot of change in your heart and mind as you have struggled, processed, explored and wondered. Welcome home, sleep tight in your own bed!
By the way, Resa is me, Larka.
:-) Keep in touch. You know I'll "stalk" you if need be. hehe. God Bless and I love you!
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